"Hmmm Heaven, who should we invite?"
"I know mom, put an invite on your facebook!"
"I shut down my facebook."
"OH NO! Does that mean you don't have anymore friends Mom!?"
Here is the face she made when she said it :) I had to laugh!
I have shared a little about feeling a little out of control of my life, I asked myself "Self, what am I not in control of?" and here is what I came up with so far.
a) Facebook. I was checking it to many time through out the day, I sat down for 5 minutes and a whole hour would go by. My children were starting to say "Mom, post this on facebook!" It was so great to see pictures of friends, share my pictures and just generally know what is going on. I loved hearing how my friends baby who was born at 25 weeks gestation was doing. He was supposed to come home a week after I shut it down, I missed the homecoming after hearing all about his hospital stay for 6 months. ARG!
Question: If I loved it so much why did I get off?
Answer: Because I loved it so much.
b) My weight. I walked out of the hospital after having child #2 in my real clothes...my real skinny clothes...my really cute non elastic skinny clothes. I weigh 10 pounds less now than I did right before I had my twins. My eating is out of control. Who would not feel a little depressed with an extra 80 pounds they don't want? Food is such a major part of our culture and what a great time to start weight watchers right before Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have lost 8 pounds...only like a bazillion more to go.
I went forward in church, a new church we have been visiting. I have never gone foward but as my heart was thumping out of my chest I knew the Holy Spirit was saying to just get up and go. I had a million reasons why sitting in my chair seemed more fitting but I knew that if I did not listen to the call it would be easier to not listen again the next time and soon perhaps I would stop hearing. So I went all by myself except for little Eve who followed me thinking that I was going to the restroom. I had no idea what the pastor would say or what I would say. He asked me why I had come up there...good question. I just smiled and said GOD tolled me to but that other than that I did no know why.
I know this, that GOD is working in me, doing something great. Doing something wonderful in our marriage and our family. I want to move forward and go deeper in my walk with the LORD. I want to get to know HIM again. We are all as close to GOD as we want to be, I want to be closer. I read a good parallel that anyone can relate to. It really hit it on the nail for me.
I had a friend, back in the day, that I knew so well, spent everyday together. She lived with our family growing up for 2 years and we were like sisters. No one could make me laugh the way she could, I did not know what it was like to walk into a room alone during those years because we were always together and it was great. We could finish eachothers sentences, she knew me so well she could tell in the dark if I was picking my nose! Time goes by, babies are born, years slip by and now we actually only stayed in touch on facebook.
I know her, she know me. We know each other. But not like it used to be when we spent so much time together.
See that is how my relationship with GOD became. I got saved. Time went on, babies were born and I became more busy meeting the needs of my husband and children which are great things! They are things that GOD wanted me to do. But they became first in my life.
I know GOD, HE know me. We know each other. But not like it used to be when we spent so much time together.
I am encouraged and inspired to continue to clean up my life, getting rid of the old and making room for the new! I know HE wants my all, and I want HIM to have it!!!
Thank you Jesus.
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